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Ever found yourself in the Gutter, feeling like there was no one to talk to about your problems? Not anymore. We're here to help you through tough times, and give you a shoulder to lean on. Simply contact either Ian (ian.guttersite@gmail.com) or Tony (tony.guttersite@gmail.com) and we'll be glad to give you our thoughts....

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Problem With Alcohol

I got this question from this poor fellow:

"so lets say that i bought a 20 pack of beer... and i get back to my Barracks room and pop open a few and when i get about half way through the case there is just a shattered beer bottle.... What am i suppose to do?? it was Bud Light and it is my favorite. please help me i don't know what to do."

-Morgan Aitchison

My response:

Wow that is truly a horrible day right there. Ok here's what you need to do, put on some Phil Collins, light some candles and cry for a few hours. That's a joke, although Phil does solve many problems of depression, you really need to Shawshank Redemption the CEO of Annheuser-Bush. By that, I mean, write many emails daily/hand written and don't stop until you get reimbursed atleast a keg.
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2 comments:

  1. Morgan AitchisonJuly 20, 2011 at 10:23 PM

    Now what are these emails and hand written letters suppose to say?? do i be a nice guy or do i threaten them?? and what are the odds of getting the bud light girls??

    ReplyDelete
  2. IanJuly 20, 2011 at 10:32 PM

    I'll handle it from here Tony. Morgan, in these letters/emails you need to be a ferocious tiger. You will accept nothing short of a TRACTOR-TRAILER LOAD of ICE COLD Bud Light Beer. Anything less than this is an insult. I mean think about it, you worked, sweated, bled, and cried for that paycheck. What did you do with it? You used it to help fund that guys great-grandkids college education. What does he do for you? He sends you a broken beer, and hides it in the middle of 19 perfectly sound ones. Does this sound like something a caring businessman would do? NO! You just need to hope that the secretary in the mailroom at the Corporate Office doesnt get caught in the crossfire, and get a papercut from opening all those envelopes, or carpal tunnel from reading all those emails.
    As for the budlight girls, to be safe, you should tell them to send them over here to the IFTG HQ, you know, for safe keeping.

    Best of Luck my friend

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